you were right, i do feel disgusted. the person i put high up on a pedestal just came crashing down. the more i think about it the more disappointed i get. i am in disbelief. if i had known in the first place, i would never have even considered or much less bothered in the very first place.

and you knew that.

the day i made the decision to be with you was the day i finally gave up all feelings on him after finding out what he did. And now to discover that you had done the same as he did before.....

i cant help but feel deceived. you assumed I would have known or heard from someone else but why in the world would i bother to listen to stories from other people when this was supposed to be just between us and the most important thing was i trusted you enough to be open with me instead of conveniently leaving out details. i gave you too much credit than you actually deserve.

i used to wonder what happened. i used to wonder where the person i once knew went. i refused to believe the way things were unfolding because in my mind, i had such a high regard of you. but then this just fits the puzzle. it makes sense now. you never changed. you were just the way you are. i just didnt know it. i still believe in that part i saw of you because it was unmistakable. i guess it was just easier for you to succumb.

even though the disappointment hurts inside, i dont, wont and cant even shed anymore tears because i can no longer find something worth crying for.

people just wont realize things if you dont speak up and let it be known in the first place. i still dont know why you didnt. at least it meant enough to me for me to bother to try right from the start but could you say you did the same? you had a choice to change things when you still could but you did not even try. I'm not saying its your fault but you truly could have done more if only you chose to. if only you realized what was more important than anger and egos.

i've always thought the word 'together' was the central basis of our relationship where we would and could overcome anything at all as long as we did it together. but you showed me that when the going gets tough, you get going. I guess better now than later.

i was just naive to think that this was our commitment. You showed me that it was only mine all along.

sure, i still do and probably still will continue to reminisce about all the times we've shared and the things we've been through, all the good times and tender moments, the promises and plans we conceived together.

but then when i think bout the person i just came to discover & the things you've said and then contradict or forgot,

all those things you've done for me (even though they may be sincere at that point of time) and all the things we've been through just doesn't seem to be as genuine and pure anymore.

that aside knowing that people make mistakes in the past and no one is perfect,

most of all when I think about how you've never tried to give us a fighting chance and gave it all up easily in the present,

my heart just ceases to miss you anymore.